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I’ve been quiet for a long time, scared to put pen to paper and start writing again; scared of what will come out of me.I’m not the person I thought I was, I don’t have the capability or compassion that I once prided myself on and if I’m honest I’ve felt totally and utterly lost; and I’m so sad so bone shatteringly sad. My mother in law died last year, suddenly and unexpectedly, there was just no time, no time to prepare for anything. It’s not just as simple as that, it’s not just a grieving process there’s more. She left behind two sons who both have a disability, sons who are now our responsibility. I knew this day would come but I didn’t expect it yet, none of us did, least of all her. Cancer is a truly horrific disease, my mother in law had no symptoms and by the time she did it was too late. Three weeks was all we had. Since she died I’ve been afraid; afraid of my own body and what’s going on inside of it. A breast lump in January which thankfully was just a cyst has done little

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