Happy Birthday...

Dear Noah

Today is your sixth Birthday, an event you have been counting down until, since your fifth Birthday; and well I know you have already begun to plan your seventh. I know by the time you go to bed tonight you will be on a complete sugar high and I’ll have probably told you off several times for being too excited or just plain wild. I know that it will feel like an injustice – it’s your Birthday after all.

I’ve struggled with you turning six, I’m not totally sure why; maybe because five still seems small somehow; but six, well six is brand new big boy territory. I’m so proud of who you are growing up to be and you constantly amaze me with the things you say and do. You are just so grown up. 

I know we’ve not had an easy ride this last six months, there’s been lots of arguments and a whole brand new set of rules and consequences for you to abide by and I know at times it must seem so completely unfair. I’ll tell you a secret, sometimes I feel like I am being completely unfair but I do it because I love you and I want you to continue to grow in to the wonderful person you are.

I’m not always going to get it right; I’m not always going to handle it in the best way but I promise you I’m always trying, I’m always learning. The problem is my darling boy, is that you are my first. Every new experience for you is a new experience for me too. Every lost tooth, every year at School it’s new for me as well, and to be honest sometimes I’m totally winging it and spend many a night lying awake wondering if I could have done it differently.

I know sometimes you feel like your sister gets it easier and maybe she does; but you see that’s all because of you. I’ve learnt from you, I’ve discovered the things that perhaps you found hard and tried a new way.

Together you and I have explored the new world of parent and child, we’ve tackled each new milestone together and I am so glad that it’s been you by my side, that you were my first. I’m realizing now that the milestones coming your way you will start to tackle by yourself and that instead of walking by your side I’ll be a few steps behind…

You’ve grown so much and I know the days are coming when you’ll no longer want to hold my hand and the kisses and cuddles are getting fewer and far between; and that’s ok. I want you to grow up so I can see just exactly who you are going to be.

So Happy Sixth Birthday my wonderful first boy, my last boy and I promise to try not to shout too much or cry a little bit when we sing Happy Birthday to you; and I promise on that day where I no longer get to follow on behind I’ll make sure you are ready to take on those milestones without even looking behind.

Mummy xx


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