Not all of my friendships are going to last forever and I think I’m ok with that.
I bumped into a friend the other day; I say a friend but I don’t think we’ve seen or spoken to each other in years. There’s been the standard social media interaction but you can do that with people you’ve not seen in twenty-five years or even people you’ve never even met, it’s soulless anonymous contact. I’m not sure who saw who first, but I know I hesitated before I called her name, would it be awkward, what would we say? Would we talk about my children that she’d never met or would I avoid all topics of children altogether realizing that some of our growing apart was because of them. Would we stand awkwardly making vague promises to get in touch and then both walk away as quickly as possible sighing with relief that the moment had past and we had escaped.
I hesitated, but then I called her name and it was a little awkward. We are strangers now; so much happens in life that its rare to find a person is unchanged in one year never mind several. We did make the slightly uncomfortable conversation about our families and any mutual friends that still remained. There was no suggestion of meeting up and I think perhaps we did both sigh with relief when we parted but I am glad I called her name, because no matter who we are to each other now we were once friends. We laughed and joked and shared moments of happiness and sadness together; and just because we’re not what we were doesn’t lessen their importance.
Friendships are funny things, coming from tiny sparks of compatibility or that sense of shared common ground or experience that brings you together. Some friendships have a shelf life and others well they will last for eternity. But however long they last they inevitably leave their mark on us in the same way relationships do, some will die in a fire of anger and flames, others will simple slip away.
I don’t think we’ll ever actively see each other again, our time has past and I’m not sure either of us are in a position where we’d want to start completely from the beginning, but I am glad I saw her, I’m glad I spoke to her as I have many memories that she’s a part of and I don’t regret any of those moments.