Phases

There’s a word I hate in the English Language…

I bet you can’t guess…it’s not one of the usual words like moist; in fact I have a friend who will visibly shudder if you use the word moist. Yes Sir, Bake Off is a challenge for her.

No I am talking about…brace yourselves ladies…the word is Phase.

God it makes me feel sick!

The Dictionary (yes I am that sad) defines the word as:

any of the major appearances or aspects in which a thing of varying modes or conditions manifests itself to the eye or mind.

OR

a stage in a process of change or development:
Each phase of life brings its own joys.

The less said about that statement the better!

So moving on…

Your baby won’t sleep at night ‘Oh it’s a phase‘
Your baby will only eat things that are beige ‘Oh it’s a phase‘
Your child will only take a poo with the potty inside the wardrobe and you with your back to them ‘Oh it’s a phase‘
Your darling son or daughter will only sleep if their bedroom is lit up like Blackpool illuminations and you agree to sing Soft Kitty Warm Kitty on repeat until your voice is hoarse!

Ok so I admit that I’m getting a bit over excited but in all seriousness EVERYTHING IS A PHASE! And do you know what the worst thing about it is? Do you know what I hate the most about it? Is that it is Bloody true.

Thinking about it, it’s not actually the word I hate; it’s the statement; the explanation and the fact that there is no duration to accompany it. Your baby might not sleep through the night for two years but it’s still a phase! Your child might enjoy eating broccoli dipped in honey for two weeks but it’s still a phase. It’s a magical four word statement that can cover all behaviours that the tiny dictators…I mean children, care to throw into the mix.

I wonder if I could misbehave or do something that’s not quite normal for a period of time; a period of time determined solely by me, I might want it to last a week, I might want it to last a year depends how I feel. And when questioned on my behaviour I could declare quite loudly and clearly

“Oh it’s only a phase!”